Saturday, June 10, 2006

The Great Euclid Window Cover-Up Scandal!

One of my favourite news sites is "the buzz" from Each day, AZCentral apparently scours the Associated Press for the most offbeat stories and I look
forward to my daily summary. It feeds that curiosity that often manifests in line at the grocery store when I try to stealthily steal looks at papers such as The Enquirer, The Star and the Midnight Sun. I know that stories with titles such as, "Man Saws Off Own Head And Lives," aren't true, but who can deny the curiosity factour? The great thing about "The Buzz" is that all of the stories ARE true. And that's often the disturbing part.

This week there was a beauty from Euclid, Ohio, where the town council decided that an ordinance was needed to prevent people from using sheets, newspapers, garbage bags and other sundry items as window coverings. The possible consequences of breaking this law? Six months in jail and a $1,000 fine. Was this a joke? I wondered, figuring that it was more likely a dying little town looking for some buzz. After all, the Scopes trial was in large part an effort to put Dayton, TN on the map. Curiosity took hold and I was off to the City of Euclid website to find out more.

It turns out that Euclid, OH is a medium sized town, of over 52,000 people, which is not much smaller than where I live. It has 9 banks, 28 churches and temples, a hometown daily newspaper, an almost 300,000 volume library, 96 police officers, a hospital, and over 6,500 children enrolled in 10, K-12 schools. I've never been there, but it certainly sounds like a thriving community.

So, what's the deal then?

Are public eye sores the worst problem facing the residents of Euclid? I'm guessing not. The AP reported that City Councilman John Conway indicated the measure was intended to give Euclid a nicer image and was prompted by complaints. It seems that Euclid has become a microcosm of a larger problem. Government electing to deal with emotionally charged issues (as much as window coverings can cause upset) that have very little impact on the day to day lives of most people. I'm sure there are people in Euclid who do think some window coverings are deplorable, but does this issue have more direct impact on them than the local property tax rate, the quality of Euclid's school system, or the condition of their roads? It's the same thing that is going on at the national level when the majority party trots out things like the "Defense of Marriage Act." What's going to really impact the average person more? Whether their gay neighbours marry, or how much fuel is costing them, whether their air and water
are clean, and whether they can afford to buy a house?

It's bait and switch, and sadly too many of us are swallowing the worm.

I don't know the reason why there are apparently so many
non-traditional window coverings in Euclid, OH. More than likely, it's economic. But, I do know this. If I lived in Euclid, I would immediately take all of my window coverings down and I'd urge all of my friends to do the same. Then I'd walk around naked....A lot. I guarantee that before long, City Council would not only retract the law, but that they'd pony up for some proper window coverings to boot. Maybe the folks in Euclid should give it a try!


Blogger Senor Cheeseburger said...

youre an idiot.

4:42 PM  
Blogger John Fracchia said...

Senor Cheeseburger, thanks for your quick post and your well crafted thoughts. But Dude, have you taken a look at your photo (or your grammar for that matter). I'm just saying...

4:56 PM  
Anonymous Dudley said...

As always, some good points. I'm just glad that we don't have that law here! The mind shudders at the prospect!

9:46 AM  
Blogger Councilman Conway said...

I appreciate the fact that you took the time to make me aware of this site. One of the problems that occurs when the media only covers a snippet of a story is the fact that the intent of ordinance is often time not conveyed in the message.

The crust of the legislation states the following: All interior window coverings, hardware and mechanisms shall be maintained in good repair and working order. No person shall utilize plywood, blankets, newspaper, flags, banners, signs or other building materials not intended or designed as window treatments as permanent window coveringsā€¦

Important things to notice:

(A) We did not address sheets because we feel that they are commonly used as window treatments, especially in childrens rooms
(B) We do not intend to be the fashion policeā€¦ You can have florescent pink mini blinds and as long as they are in good working order, you have no issues

The City of Euclid has many problems, not unlike most inner rings suburbs. Overall, the council that I am on has been very focused on improving our overall housing stock and its perception. I believe that we as elected officials have an enormous responsibility to protect the investment that our residents make when they decided to call Euclid Ohio home. Our housing values must not be diminished.

I respect your right to disagree with this, but I hope this puts things in a clearer light.

Thank you again.

Councilman John M Conway

12:33 PM  
Blogger GC said...

That has to be the most amusing response to a post I have seen in quite some time. That 'councilman conway' must be a satirist of swiftian proportions. So expert in skill that his words can only be perceived by normal bourgeoisie as actual sentiments.



8:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aww Euclid! This poor, store closing every other month, can't keep it's longest living business in the history of the city open (Holzheimer Family Foods),shanty, crime rising(and fast), school system on academic probation, white on black crime, black on black crime, city full of misfits are using this "I want Euclid to look nicer reason" is nothing more but hidden racism. Euclid is known for their prejudices against anyone who they think is not fit to be employed (usually of all white descent), or fits into its "Good ole Boy image". The City itself owns buildings inwhich they are falling apart and are not fit to live in. How about your service center for streets and sewers, or the Shore Cultural Center (it has plywood in the window). F'ing hypocrite

3:06 PM  

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